..tonight I cried

During a time of worship of song I was moved to tears. It was the strangest thing that happened. I began to think about my life during a song; I was just looking at the lyrics on a screen when suddenly it dawned on me that I was "back in it, again". I was laid off from about three months ago and had spent a lot of time just questioning God about what He was showing me. It has been humbling and difficult to not do what you love to do and it's hard to have to suddenly stop doing what you've felt called to do. I have discovered a lot about myself, ministry, and just life during this time. So there I was tearing up because God had placed me back where I was months ago. I can't believe it. I am very grateful . I am very thankful.

It has been said that you can't really appreciate something until you have lost it. So true. I really do appreciate the "privilege" I have to serve in the ministry. Thank you God for keeping me where I need to be.

I was almost homeless

This morning (I should say at 1 a.m.) I arrived at the rent-a-car counter a little late. My flight out of Phoenix was delayed 90 minutes and I arrived in Austin late - very late. The airport was closing down (the rent-a-car personnel was gone and I had a scary thought for a moment "How am I going to get out of here? What am I going to do now? Am I going to be on the streets?" I know I was being a little too dramatic but I was tired. I eventually got out of the airport (praise God for the airport shuttle), but as I drove through downtown Austin I looked out the window and wondered what it would be like to walk the streets. For a moment I felt the anxiety, for just a moment I felt the helplessness, for a moment I had a small (very small) glimpse of what one who doesn't have a home must feel.

Jon & Kate Plus Eight

So I'm guilty of being entertained by another reality show. But this one made me think. What if my problems were being televised? What if all my baggage, issues, junk, and stuff was out there for everything to observe? Pretty scary thought - pretty humbling thought. Jon and Kate obviously are having deep marital issues and it's really sad. But I think it's sadder that we are in the audience. I hope it works out for this couple; if anything it would be awesome to see this family work it out in front of everyone - the audience is watching.

Coming Home

Tomorrow I will return to Arizona, but it has been a weird weekend. So Cal is growing so much, new buildings, change of buildings, and abandoned meetings are a strange thing to see. I think the craziest thing is spending time with my daughters in places that I've been when I was their age. The girls really engage when I tell them that "daddy used to play here" or "daddy liked to do this..." It's so funny, my daughters are growing up so quickly as I watch my mother spend time with them - is weird.

I have mixed emotions about the possibilities of returning to So Cal - I don't know if I miss the smog, the traffic or the craziness.

But Who knows.

"So, what do you do all day at a church office?"

This was the question asked in a recent conversation with my neighbor. I was at Lowe's (a place where I find myself lusting after things I have no use for) and I ran into my neighbor. We were talking small talk, and then he asked the question.

My mind went it all directions, what do I say? Should I be flattered that he is interested in my occupation? Should I be offended by assuming he thinks I don't work hard? What do I say? Do I try to sound all scholarly and spiritual?

After my decision crisis, I told them my job is diverse. I'm a teacher, a counselor, a communicator, an administrator, a consultant, a psychiatrist, a therapist, a supervisor, a subordinate, an employee, a coach, and a servant. He stood there shocked. "how do you do it all? Don't you get tired?" "Yes, I do get very tired, but it's my calling, and I love making a difference"

Is it just me?

or is Carl's Jr. trying to kill men? Seriously, is there a person in suit that is determined to do harm to the physical health of their male customers? I say men because I truly believe that a woman would not dare consume some of the products that Carl's is selling.