it's kinda like when...

Today was Fryday at Jack in the Box - free fries to anyone. Free is always good especially when it comes to this "salty delicacy". Mmm Hmm.

I shouldn't enjoy them as much as I do but I noticed something when I ate all the fries in the "fry wrapper". I thought I was done, (and honestly) I said to myself, "I want more".

...I could still smell french fries
...I placed my hands in the bag
...I took out the napkins
...I took out the ketchup

...and there it was. It was extra fries!

I know this is kind of sick (and pathetic) but finding those fries was just rewarding. All of my childhood memories surfaced in my mind. The cracker-jack prize, the cereal box toy.

Reward. Reward if you search and seek.

Seeking is kinda like when you find extra french fries in the bottom of the bag - it's rewarding.

"How much do I need?"

In the days of entitlement, expectation, and expenses, I need to ask myself this question daily:

"How much do I need?"

Nothing of mine is really mine anyway. When I leave this life I can't take anything with me. The stuff I own doesn't define me. After all, the stuff I buy eventually tears, rips, breaks, or fails - it fades.

I must admit that I hate advertisers. They can manipulate and stir in me to think I need something that I really don't need. A look, a place, a gesture makes us face the question "Do I need that?"

So recently I looked at the question differently. It's not how much I need, but rather how much will I consume. I found this incredibly humbling. Now I switch from looking out at stuff and looking deep into me - which is pretty scary. I can be pretty selfish and self-centered. If I really take into account what others don't have and what I have it reveals a lot about my priorities.

"How much will I consume?"

if I just had

If I were taller, stronger, richer, smarter, more attractive, more charismatic, more sensitive, more brave.

"...if I just had"

I'm all for drive, commitment, focus, and determination. But when our motivation and discontent comes from our feelings of inadequacy - we are all "had". We are not an accident. We are not a mistake. We are not a cosmic joke. It is in our perceived weakness that we can grow and be more effective and influential in ways that we could never imagine.

If I were taller - I'd be taller. If I were stronger - I'd be stronger.

...but if I use what I am today - I'd be effective.

pain illuminates

let's be honest. we do grow jealous or envious of others' successes.

We cheer for them ...but we envy them

We root for them ..but we wish we were in their shoes

We admire them ...but we wish we could live that life

what's wrong with us?

It comes natural to us to be jealous, envious, or resentful. But what "illuminates" is our pain.

when we go through a horrible situation or experience (and live to tell about it). It is there that we receive something different.

...instead of envy we admire

...instead of coveting we are inspired

our pain, our experiences are a a message of hope and a message of redemption.